The Weight of the Past

By Cheri Bunch
“… let us strip off every weight that slows us down …” Hebrews 12:1 (NLT).

Past failures had gripped my heart with a stranglehold.

I couldn’t find relief.

My spiritual life seemed to be suffocating from the grip my past failures had upon me.

I had made mistakes. Now my children were making mistakes. It was a result of my failure, wasn’t it?

I wanted my guilt to cradle me with comfort, but I only felt a steely coldness from its gaze.

My help was not in my guilt.

My help was in my God.

Finally I took hold of grace and let go of my guilt.

Instead of asking the Lord for the “ump-teenth” time to forgive me, I began to pray a proactive prayer.

“Lord, I have made huge mistakes as a parent. My heart is breaking with regret. I lay my regret and my guilt at Your feet, Jesus. I trust that You have forgiven me. Now will you please take my mistakes and turn them into something beautiful? Touch the cracks in the foundations of my children’s lives that are present because of my inadequacies and bring restoration and healing. I am deciding at this moment to trade the yoke of my guilt for the yoke of Your forgiveness. I believe that change will come. There will be freedom in my heart and restoration in my children’s lives. Thank you for Your great love for us. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”

I was restored and given a spiritual “second wind,” so that I was able to run and complete this race.

Now my gaze is fixed, not on my past, but on my Savior’s face!

At last . . . liberty!

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith,” Hebrews 12:1-2a (NLT).